The familiar Renotel chime hits your ear.

The familiar Renotel chime hits your ear.

Dial back the last number.

The monotonous hum of the line skips into a dial tone as the call connects.

Isn't it nice being in the liminal space of 'assuming you've been had' and 'knowing you've been had mega hard'?

Shut up, I'm connecting to Luzian Melita.

"What, what?" The man who answers your call's voice is gruff, old, at the end of its tether.

You can't quite place the accent, but it's definitely not Luzian.

"Who am I speaking to?"

"Oh, oh, sorry, I thought you were him." The man sighs and mutters to himself in a language you do not understand.

"Pretty Paws Cat Grooming Service, how can we be of assistance to you?"

Oh no.

"Hello? We're about to close right now. You'll need to call back tomorrow for an appointment."

"Just to be mega clear, you don't work for the Luzians, right?"

"I think the Luzian Longhair is a beautiful feline. Beyond that, we do not discriminate. Every cat receives the same excellent service."

Impenetrable cover. Almost as if... it's not a cover at all.

"Do you know of a large white cat with green eyes? Doesn't walk much?"

"You mean Self-Hold?"

"There's a cat called Self-Hold?"

"Yes! That man just called me about this very same cat. He is becoming extremely aggressive about an appointment."

"Every day he calls." A string of what must be curse words in an unfamiliar tongue. "Do you know him? Are you calling for him now?"

Disbelief that anybody would do anything so vulgar as know this man.

"I know him, yes."

"I pity you."

"I know him, but only a little bit."

"I wish I knew him even less than that."

"Don't worry, I don't like him either."

"He does himself no favours, this man."

"Does Self-Hold have pink paws and an extremely large body?"

"Why don't you just ban him from Pretty Paws if he's becoming aggressive?"

"It is not the cat's fault that its owner is an undesirable. I will still take on the cat as a client if I must."

"He's really been calling you that much?"

"The man is obsessive. Now he is even threatening me, saying he's very high up in some organisation. Just now he called me a 'low-tier individual'."

"What can I do? We are fully booked until next week. Please, if you know this idiot you must help me, he is ruining my afternoons."

"Sorry, this doesn't sound like my problem."

"Ah, Deneb help me."

"What kind of name is 'Self-Hold'?"

"A bad one. Always I try to ask the cat's name, always he says "that's Self-Hold". What is 'self-hold'? Makes him sound like some sort of masturbator."

No, he had information. I haven't stalked a random innocent woman.

This doesn't mean his information is falsified. In fact, in some ways it strengthens its veracity.

A stalker outsourced his stalking to you. You're a stalker-facilitator.

Shit.

"Thanks, I'm okay for grooming services. Have a nice evening." (Hang up.)

"Yes, thank you, good-bye."

Could be a creative cover story.

I have not been had. I am unhaveable.

I need to know for sure.

Just hang up.