What are you waiting for? Why put off your desires for abstractions like 'being able to afford it' or 'economic literacy'. Become a…

What are you waiting for? Why put off your desires for abstractions like 'being able to afford it' or 'economic literacy'. Become a Financial Citizen -- today.

I'm a slave to contemporary financial instruments.

These terms and conditions (hereinafter referred to as the 'Agreement') govern the contractual relationship between EMTERR, including its subsidiaries, affiliates, agents, alter egos, and assigns, ('EMTERR', 'The Bank', 'L'Empire Sans Territoire', 'The Bloody Hand of Transnational Capital', 'we', 'us', or 'our') and you ('you' and 'your') when you take part in the Financial Citizen program (the 'Service'). The Service includes but is not limited to your account with us ('Financial Citizen Account') and any other services provided by us or other third parties where this Agreement is presented to you. This Agreement contains important terms that govern your relationship with us and your use of the Service, including (but not limited to): Mandatory arbitration of disputes, telephonic communications, permission to obtain credit reports and/or financial colonoscopies, and other Terms of Use. Any and all disputes between you and us will be resolved via binding, individual arbitration by secret tribunal.

Not enough slots.

I'm not going to spend money I don't have.

The Financial Citizen will always be there for you, should your circumstances change.

You know why monotheism has died out for the most part, right?

Television.

It's because we've lost the patience needed to suffer the present for an eternal life or any such gift that may or may not arrive at a later date.

Fortunately, EMTERR have figured out a way to reverse millennia of moral orthodoxy via an ultramodern financial instrument: 'The Financial Citizen'.

Is this for real?

Of course. It's ultramodern fun without any of the consequences.

That Kurt guy had it the other way around...

This is one of the dearest hopes of Post-History: That we should get out from the shadow of oppressive abstractions, free to pursue material desires, preferably with a large and dynamic product range.

Let's hear about that new product range...

Exquisite chocolates, track jackets, videodisc players, a cool gun -- all these could be yours right now, with a little short-term capital infusion.

Sounds like a scam.

Do read the fine print, the Bank suggests. Everything is totally above board, and according to them, the people have been asking for something like this for a very, very long time.

I don't know... it's a bit frivolous, isn't it?

The financially endowed would tell you that what you've uttered just now sounds like something that The Poors would say, which of course isn't their fault, it's just circumstances.

Sounds frighteningly advanced. Probably dangerous.

Why?